Half-Gifts

Past few nights I heard a wailing ambulance pass-by. Unexpectedly I felt a twinge of emotion somewhere in my chest. No its not a twinge for myself.

This morning, an old lady in wheelchair was ushered through my gate. An old friend of Mak. She’s so old and frail…obsolete. I felt that twinge again. And pity too. But Mak’s friend mustered little frail energy she has to visit her friend. Probably something worthwhile to do while they’re alive.

Something I’ve taken for granted.

Then came realization of Time. Something that I might lose. No, I WILL lose, someday. This mood suits the song playing right now.

I’m sorry, for all the ignorance this selfish ass caused you.

Song: Half-Gifts – Cocteau Twins

Etoile

So many guiding stars. So many misleading stars.
Some are bright. Some are dim.
Some don’t even know they’re dead yet.
For the light are still on the way to tell the news.

There are lucky stars.There are bad ones too.
Some are named. Some are strangers.
Some are begging to be known and loved.
And some are just plain prick in the night sky.

Once in a while there are wandering stars.
And tonight I grabbed a fallen star.
With bright promises and blazing tail.
And coax it to fly away, a way out of this system.

And named her Etoile.

Goodbye Horses – Q Lazarus

a beautiful symmetry.
a grotesque scenery.
a haunting song.

-------- Q Lazarus --------
a very unknown band.
a very low-key female vocalist.
always misunderstood as a male singer.

-------- Silence of the Lambs scene ---------
underground cellar.
Goodbye Horses playing in background.
a naked man, a serial killer.
dancing, imitating his female self.
put on lipstick and admire self.
"Do you wanna fuck me?"
"I want to fuck me"

Goodbye Horses - Q Lazarus
You told me, I see the rise
But, it always falls
I see them come, I see them go
You say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

You told me, I've seen it all before
I been there, I've seen my hopes and dreams
Lying on the ground

I've seen the sky just begin to fall
And you say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying, flying, flying over you

Being a nocturnal creature

As a hardcore Nocturnalist I usually stay awake until what most people consider “start of the day”. Here’s a look into what a nocturnal creature’s ‘day’ is like. The Love & Hate.

The LOVE

• 12am-1am – perfection of balance between the waking & sleeping world
• 2am-3am – the cooling of the Earth.
• 4am – A very Silent, Cool, Peaceful, Blissful time

and then the HATE

• 5am – mosquitos, mostly aedes start to hunt for food and my blood is mosquito-friendly.
• 6am – The sky start to bleed some blue and signalling a rise in activity like…
• 7am – busses, cars, motorbike starts rushing by my house. And I mean RUSHING. Dude, no matter how fast you rush, you’d still be in the jam. Chill please!
• 8am – I know i’m really fucked up if i don’t sleep now.

Temporary Happiness

Ignorant is bliss isn’t it?
Like smoking my fav Red with gory images on it.
Like listening to H.I.M ‘gedik’ness.
Like McDonald’s crappy fastfood.
Like flirting madly with a stranger.

And just like a few minute ago…
Logging in to Maybank2u to pay the 2 months old bills.
Reluctant but slaving myself to the grind of life *sighs*.
Username: taptaptap
Password: taptaptap

………loading………

System Refresh
Our system is being refreshed.
During this time you will not be able to login to do your banking.
Please come back again later.

YEAY!!
Temporary Happiness

Unconditional Acceptance

Acceptance. True love. Unconditional friendships.

Do you believe in it?
I, for reason of naivety or otherwise, believe in it’s existence.
I just don’t believe the society we live in today can achieve it easily.

Or geared towards it.

Because the world & society today is full of bullshits and without which they can’t survive. Yes, on BULLSHITS. Just stop for a while and look around in the general social direction:
• Expectation.
• Credibility.
• Popularity.
• Vanity (yes male too!)
• Economics
and the list grows more and more over the time.
Oh I forgot to attach prefix 'HIGH' to each list - HIGH Expectation, etc.

Come on. Think about it. You were born RAW. All of the above are just built-upon layers. Enforced by the society you lived in. By your peers based on perceived ideals and ultimately by the old devil himself: Mr.Capitalism.

Not by your conscious decision ultimately.

So, going back to this blog’s topic - Unconditional  Acceptance - which really means ‘none of above layers required’. Can you accept or like or love someone with just their RAW self? And please try not to kid yourself by answering an optimistic YES before really re-thinking your brain out.

Comforming to Normality

Most people try hard to have that. To feel secured with regular motion of life. To stabilize according to perceived world. I don't blame them but sorry dudes, that is just lame to me. i would rot if I stagnate. And I'm pretty sure thats how they felt once they realise their potbelly became the main sexual jokes among their peers (...or wife).

Sales promoter you’d want to see

In general, you see jeans/shirts/fashion shop hosting salesperson wearing their brand of fashion. A Levi’s salesperson almost ALWAYS wears Levi’s. I wonder, why lingerie or undergarment shop doesn't hosts salesgirls that promote their wares? It is essential marketing is it not? :D

Stupid Cat

Yesterday while readying to go out I heard a mewing kitten non-stop in front of my house. It sounded hungry, lost, and afraid. So I began to search for the location of the poor thing. Nearing it, I saw a small grey kitten bolted out of it’s hiding place. It ran blindly across the road while cars passing by nearly hits it. Without stopping, it then made a u-turn and crossed back to it’s hiding place, missing another car hit. My blood froze! What a stupid, stupid cat! phewww LUCKY cat!

OK this episode made me feel bad of wanting to help the stupid cat. My action could get the cute thing flattened or splattered on the road. Feel like wringing the blasted thing’s neck! OK that won’t help a bit.

Anyway it’s just primal instinct. Can’t blame them little things. In fear or entrapment, the kitten tried it’s best to survive. Which made me realize that human do these things too. Especially those in a misconception of a relationship lol. They lie, cover tracks, made up excuses (some are really stupid excuses). By doing so, they basically betray the relationship without really understanding the outcome of their misguided deeds.

You see, relationship is about RELATING to each other. No big secrets  (little secrets are fine though), no holding back, no lies. And its about SHARING – of your thoughts, fear, hope & dreams, wonders, problems, etc. If you can’t even do that, its high time to take a step back and evaluate where are you standing in the ‘relationship’ picture.

As with the stupid cat, it should trust me better since it was MEWING non-stop, giving out ‘help me’ signals all night long. So please, trust your ‘helper’ better and free yourself. And not be like the cat in the pic lol.

Windows Live Writer!

COOL!
That’s all i can say about this nifty tool for blogger. I just discovered it while poking around Windows Live page. Well, its a MS Windows offline blogging software. I don’t give much thought on MS free apps, but Windows Live Writer is an exception. It is SIMPLE and its WORKING beautifully!

You can do nifty stuff like resize images, rotate, edit, put special fx, etc. as you would a word processor like MS Word. You can put table and do text formatting, and many more that would usually need extra IT savviness while using the online blog interface. It also have plugins or extension to expand on the functionality! (like Firefox’s Extensions). It also support quite a number of blog provider (like Blogger, Wordpress, etc)

I urge you bloggers give this cool apps a go. It made me wanna blog a lot more!  Here’s some preview of what it can do:

EDIT: oh did I mention that you can even edit your post right inside WLW? Well, I just did, without opening Blogspot web!

---

Image resize & FX
 

---

Photo Album (from local or web album!)

View Full Album

---

 Table

Column 1	Column 2	Column 3
table	table	table
table	table	table

---

Easy video embedding & resizing from YouTube

---

and some more little things that work great for me…

IMDB database insert!

Released: 1997


Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Contact

Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, William Fichtner, Timothy McNeil, Matthew McConaughey, Henry Strozier,

---

 MAP for the road-blind!

mapssss!

Fragile new songs

I've decided to release my new songs to the public for the first time.
These 3 songs are what I call perpetual beta. I'll never satisfy to finally called it FINAL.
Well, have a listen and comments & critics are welcome.

FRAGILE NEW SONGS

Movies that I'm not going to miss!

For some reason I feel movie-makers are hearing my shout of anguish of ever diminishing good sci-fi & other cool movies. So this year, I'm going to have a blast at movie marathon!

Here is my list of MUST-WATCH (in order of interest)

Terminator Salvation
28 May 2009
YEAH! this is going to make my day, no...make my year!
Reason being:
1) a lot of termies inside
2) Termies on bike (Mospeada anyone?)
3) Giant Termies (ohh I'm almost wetting my pants now...)
4) Dystopian future
5) Christian Bale

Angels & Demons
14 May 2009
The book was absorbing and revealing. Also, Da Vincci Code was not disappointing as well.
It's Dan Brown's. And its on Illuminati. I'm going come rain or shine.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
26 June 2009
Beside Megan Fox's hotness, I say I should watch this cult story that I grew up with.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
30 April 2009
Last X-Men movie gave some hope of becoming a cult (instead of another superhero movie have-beens). So yeah I'm going to leisurely watch this one.

2012
9 July 2009
I feel like this movie won't have much substance in it. Prolly it's just a jumping-the-2012-bandwagon thingy. And I'm pretty sure its just another Disaster movie. I'm going to watch this one on the premise of my interest in 2012 issue. We'll see how.

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaur
2 July 2009
Can't get enough of 3D animations. And Ice Age is sub-zero cool too :)

City of Ember
12 March 2009
Kiddy movie I'm sure. But I like kiddy movies. Hollywood lacks great kiddy movies like ET, Goonies, etc that left everlasting impressions on kids. But I don't expect much from this one too.

and last but not least, is...

Ong Bak 2
5 Feb 2009
Its Tony jaa damn it! and Muay Thai...you need more reason?!

Gombak Bangsal Nak Muay

Last sunday me and KawanBoxx crew - Musaddik and Azizan went to Melati area to check out a bangsal Tomoi place. The kru there wanted to put his fighter on the ring. So we went there to get to know them. Personally I was curious because Melati is borderline from where I live and I've never heard of them.

BTW they call themselves Fyling Cobra Tomoi Club. First of all, these guys are hardcore. I mean the equipments and training facility (if we can call that) are all self-made! Buckets filled with cements for barbell, old tyre wrapped on pole for punching target, and other weird contraptions lying around that make me feel, wow this guys must be training real hard - hard as in under-equpped. The ace fighter, Amir, is quite good. He got all the Nak Muay quality - setong (strong), goodheart (stamina), and most important HUMBLE. We were not there long enough to see his complete training regime but I must honestly say Amir would benefits better in a real gym, with real tanner (trainer).

After we went back, something occurred to me. That I have better gym acccess than this guy and I lack the motivation that this guy has. I am determined to push myself harder on my Muay Thai training. And be able to kick as powerful & as high as Amir can :)

Chokdee! Ohhweeyyy!

The World Through My Skewed Eyes

Things that caught my eyes while wandering around aimlessly

Ciggy Graveyard


Petshop Scam!
(sign says "Let Go Birds - RM3.00/bird)

Ad Space for Direct Sale

UFO in KLCC

Boxxtomoi Magazine

Coming soon!
This is exciting project for me - something like a fanzine but in full CMYK glory :)
I've done the logo but I'm still working on the mag's pre-production and layout. Articles/Photos/Contents are on its way!

Launch & distribution date: 7-8 Feb 2009 - on the KL Muay Thai Event itself.

TM-WMC KL Muay Thai Challenge!

Yep it is confirmed. KL will see great actions from these people - trust me, I've witnessed it in Kelantan. Now is a very good time to do so also since Ong Bak 2 will be on the theater on 15 Jan.

So make yourself (and your family, friends, spouse, pets) available and head to Cheras Badminton Stadium this 7th & 8th of February 2009.

For more info go HERE.

CHOKKKKKKK!

Boxxwarriors Gym Ampang - Oji's Initiation

Oldtimer Sawai "Power! Power!"

Nam & me - the initiation of Muay Thai

Finally I'm able to start my training here! I was not having enough sleep due to work and I was a bit under the weather. But I was resolute on starting on Monday 15 Dec. I train with Mr. Nam or Saksit. Ija & Athina train with Fa So Chun the ever smiling Nak Muay. Kirsty the owner was there as well, chirpy as a bird, as always. She helped with the translation on & off while sitting behind the counter with a stopwatch. She love to talk (she admits, we noticed hehe).

I almost KO'ed Nam, my trainer. Haha I wished i'm that good!!

Anyway, it was not a macho, testosterone-ridden bigballs gym as most would expect from a fightclub. It was a friendly, joke-abundant gym where you'd feel really at home or among friends the moment you enter the gym (after climbing many many stairs to the top 4th floor). The guys under training are friendly as well - introducing themselves and mingle around. This is not to say the gym lacks power or seriousness. The Thai trainers - Nam, Chun, and oldtimer Sawai - are all old hands in Muay Thai arena. A single class these guys gave you are full of tips & tricks. We were monitored closely too, with timers and train techniques.

I always suck at roundhouse kick. Nam showed me the proper way by letting me bashed his tummy :)

It was a great start for me and I urge anyone who wanted to start Muay Thai, whatever the reason is, please have a visit at Boxxwarriors Gym Ampang. Sorry if this sound like promoting, but I just like the atmosphere there. Except the smelly gloves and makeshift toilet (KIRSTY! get that toilet properly done please!)

I can't wait for next class even though Nam promised me a harder & punishing training scheme! Until then....CHOKKKK! :)

Say Sawadee-kap to my knee! my fav move

The World of Meagre Existence

Surprise! I discovered I've written some fiction long time ago. Probably I'll decide to publish it online - if I think I can get the time to edit and continue the story.

Anyway, it's called The World of Meagre Existence (tentative title). It is a journal of an unnamed traveller into exotic strange lands. It is leaning toward Science Fiction and humour.

Hopefully coming to the web soon! Watch this space for announcement.

Ong bak 2!!

Tony Jaa Pranom for New Year present! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Go watch the trailer NOW!

From the trailer, I see that Tony Jaa is going for a mixed martial art combo thingy plus his usual Muay Thai/Boran style this time. Something like a boy who learned from the best gurus from all over Asia. Also I see a "Pesilat" (Malay Silat fighter). GREAT!

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT IN JANUARY!!!

Ong Bak 2
The story is about a man with two sides - good and evil. Conceited about his talents, he lives in a world of darkness until he discovers the beauty of khon, (Thai masked dance), and transforms it into a gracious fighting skill. Hence the adventure begans as the young Thai boxer learns the skills and inner meaning of martial arts
(Source: RAM Entertainment Sdn. Bhd.)

Release Date	15 January 2009
Language	Thai
Classification	N/A
Running Time	N/A
Director	Tony Jaa
Cast	Tony Jaa.

Kelantan revisited

It has been ages since i last visited Kelantan. Almost forgot how it was. Well, nothing much changed since 10-12 years back. Nothing drastic anyway. Went there for the Muay Thai event. Also this was my first time traveling solo. It was fun. I took Firefly's twin propeller plane - which is a fascinating ride of its own. "Air Turbulence" paint a new picture in my mind (and tummy).

Anyways....

Here are a few things that I got reminded again, and new things I learned in Kelantan:
1 - Chinese here speaks perfect Kelantanese. It felt weird calling a Chinese "Abe"

2 - The food is ALWAYS sweet. My first lunch in Kelantan was a hot & spicy looking Ayam (chicken) Chili Tomato. So I poured a healthy dose of the gravy. I end up eating the fringe of my unsoiled rice. it was worst than a Ayam Madu (honeyed chicken).

3 - Drivers here thinks they drive a tank instead of car. Signal light? Who cares. No parking/stopping/waiting/U-turn? no such words exist.

4 - Mamak here is best thought of as spiced up kedai makan kelantan (kelantan restaurant). Just to prepare yourself from disappointment after ordering teh tarik & roti canai. Atleast at the riverside one.

5 - Marlboro is the hardest to find.

6 - Gocoh means fight. Luckily I was with a group of Muay Thai fighters :D

7 - Tanner means Trainer. In a cool way I like how it was pronounced by the Thais - especially by Mat Amin

8 - Earrings worn by male are frowned at. First I thought I was stared at for my charm o_O

9 - You can still find rare antiques still in use (see pic)

10 - Worst of all for a nocturnist like me, 11pm is the maximum time to witness any 'life' on the street.

yeaaah! I used to 'gayut' on this orange thing

Anyhow, these 10 things might sound like a pouty complaints but in truth I was enjoying these Kelantan quirkiness. It was memorable & appreciated nonetheless. It made me smile writing this down :)