Air Keruh

Jangan buang air yang keruh,
Jangan juga ambil yang jernih.
Penghujung masa ini tiada yang utuh,
Yang awalnya tulus, tiada juga yang bersih.

Lebih elok air ditadah,
Lebih jernih bila ditapis,
Biar keruh tapi tiada padah,
Biar di titik madu sehingga manis.

His Universe

If you find him lost,
Do not send the way home,
Ask what is he searching.

If you find him saddened,
Do not ask the reason,
Paint laughter across his lips.

If you find him broken,
Do not piece the shards,
Help build a stronger shell instead.

If you find him poisoned,
Do not find the cure,
Draw it out of his blood.

And you will be his Universe.

Neglecting Sorrow

Neglecting Sorrow
For the sake of Joy

Ignoring Hope
For the healing of Longing

Restraining Action
For fear of Reaction

Liberating Loss
For the chance of Gain

Unless, it worth all of the pain

Good night, Good day

And she fell asleep
Amidst memory of giggles
And she probably dreaming deep
In heap of fantasy and fable

Good night.

And she wakes up groggy
Halfway dreaming of bliss
Thinking it was her reality
To be woken up by a kiss

Good day.

And it is a gift
A worthwhile belief
To trust the elusive bliss
To wake up with a real kiss

Kalau Boleh

Kalau boleh aku padamkan...
Tentang raut kasih, senyum, dan tawa,
Tentang harum rambut, kulit, dan nama,
Tentang halus sentuh, belai, dan jiwa.

Kalau boleh....
Pejamkan lah hati dan naluri,
Gelapkan lah bayang dan mimpi,
Hambarkan lah rasa dan cita-cita.

Kalau boleh...
Biar bayangan sesat dari diri,
Biar ingatan terkubur dari mimpi,
Biar rasa kelam dari hati.

Kalau boleh... cuma untuk malam ini.

:: Oji Hamidin ::

Corak III

Aku mengorak langkah dalam kabus
Cuba melerai kusut, menyambung maksud
Sudah bertimbun sangka, rasa dan luka
Yang terlerai hanya Percaya dari diri

Aku kaku terpaku didepan mimpi
Yang semalam terasa abadi
Terhembus doa, terkelip mata hati,
Untuk terus ada rasa, dan mungkin bermimpi

Gadis kelmarin menyapa sepi
"Kau mencari apa di sini?"
"Tak usah lah kau tercari lagi"
"Tiada hati di rumah Dusta ini"

"Pergi lah, jauh kan diri, Si Pengemis Hati"
Pemilik bertopeng, dah mati dihati
Dia terjerat, terpaku diri, buta di hati
Tiada mimpi, tiada janji, tiada erti

Padam kan lah corak indah ini.

// 26 Dec 2014

:: Oji Hamidin ::

Lifetime of Bliss

I drowned when I look deep in your eyes
Pulled ever so deeply into a perfect dream

I gasped when I touch your lips
Breathlessly locked in your desire

I melt when I behold your heart
Seared completely by a promised bliss

I am humbled when I embrace your serenity
Held captive, prisoner of your unwavering purity

You are Perfection
You are Purity
You are Desire
You are Bliss

So I'm down on my bended knees
Bearing naked every fibre my soul
So I held up my hands to the heaven
Surrendering my fate and destiny

For a chance of an eternal kiss
For a lifetime of your bliss

The Laughter

It was the laugh.

Her unguarded, free-spirited laughs that brought me back to the memories of her. When she laughed, I can see it in her eyes, in her frantic gestures. Unabashed laughters. Like the world only exist between us. Like I’ve accidentally made her world brighter, happier, and worth all the pains and sufferings we’ve gone through.

It doesn’t matter the jokes were on me, on others, or in no particular things. She would still laugh that honest laugh… with me, together. That, made it worth fighting for the next dreary days.

It was her laughter. A fraction of time where joy really did exists. Now only a fraction of memories - when she laughed.

Browsing Your Life

While browsing through your life
I saw your vibrant and sweet youth
Sparkling sweetness and soft tenderness
And I felt a twinge of what I have lost

While browsing through your life
I saw fine lines of maturity forming
Tender sensuality and radiant beauty
And I felt a nudge of what I have missed

While browsing through your life
I saw the toll of age and sadness
Yet still as bright as stars, beauty persevered
And I felt regret of how it could’ve been

Living toward the end of Life with you.

Found None

Tonight I tried to write it all down
About emotions that leeched my life away
Tonight I tried to lay it all down
About wishes undone, and dreams gone astray

Tonight I tried to coax myself to express
In a bid to empty this wrecked self for solace
Tonight I tried to ignite this deadness
To burn away the cold fingers of loneliness

I found none.


:: Oji | 17 Nov 2012 ::

A Letter

Today I received a letter
Pink and fragrantly prepared
Softly written twisting elegance
Weaved with dreams, promises, and heart's intent.

It ended with a fiery red lipstick
Kissed deeply. Without name.
And I just said, "It may be addressed wrongly"
For there is no dreams, promises, or faith here.


B.Melayu here

10 Minutes

An “Excuse me”.
A slight shoulder bump.
A “Sorry”.
Two faces turning, eyes meet eyes.

A smiling “It’s ok”.
An awkward passing by.
A wanting of proximity.
Stealing glances, the blurring of other faces.

Just under 10 minutes. That’s all it takes.

For two people to connect.
For the sweet smile to stay in memory.
For one of them to start a mission.
To continue that brief connection.

Just under that memorable 10 minutes.

 

:: GSC Pavilion. 10pm, Nov 28, 2009 ::

Sepucuk Surat

Hari ini aku terima sepucuk surat
Merah jambu disemburi harum wangi
Tertera tulisan lembut bersimpul seri
Tersulam kata-kata mimpi, janji, dan isi hati.

Ia berakhir dengan tanda lipstick merah menyala
Di kucup penuh makna. Tanpa nama.

Dan aku cuma berkata "Ia mungkin tersalah alamat"
Kerana tiada mimpi, janji, atau hati di rumah ini.

From This Memory

Too many noises in this place
Of broken songs and haunting desire
Of seductive voices and meaningless chatter

Too many phantasm in this place
Of torn pictures and lucid scene
Of alluring thoughts and deceitful dreams

I’m getting cluttered
I’m getting scattered
I’m getting divided

I need to get away from this place
Far far away, if I may
From this memory

Innocence & Purity

I found Innocence & Purity
Wrapped in her soft frail body
I found Passion & Empathy
Embodied in her tender soul

I found Wit & Insight
Embedded in her lucent mind
I found Faithfulness & Truth
Shining in the wake of her light

I found Dreams & Desire
Radiated from her sweetly scented skin
I found Laughter & Joy
Without pretense, without feign

But she said no to me

For my feet are mired
My hands are grimed
Wandering and wounded
Severed and divided

Hope I’ll cross her path again
When I’m free of my sins

Hujan

Hujan dah mula turun sekarang. Bagus lah.
Boleh tenggelam bising kehidupan luar sana.

Hujan tengah turun lebat sekarang. Bagus lah.
Boleh aku lemaskan diri dalam kekelabuan.

Hujan dah nak berhenti sekarang. Ahh tak bagus.
Tak cukup tebal untuk menyepi diri

Hujan dah merintik perlahan. Sangat tak bagus.
Tak cukup reda emosi kelam ini

Hujan dah berhenti. Tsk kenapa berhenti?
Terpaksa aku kembali pada bising dan bahang luar sana.

Dan guruh selepas tamat hujan seperti mengejek.
"HAHA nak singkir diri pun kau tak terdaya”

Nak…

Nak duduk melunjur tak ada kerusi
Nak sandang kepala tak ada bantal
Nak melabuh badan tak ada tilam

Nak melangkah tak ada tenaga
Nak bertutur kata tak ada suara
Nak kongsi rasa tak ada teman

Nak jenguk bintang malam masih kelam
Nak susun fantasi disergah realiti
Nak janji gembira diri sendiri pun tak percaya

Cuma ada lantai keras untuk menghempas diri.

Tamat

Tiada masa untuk ditunggu
Tiada hala untuk dituju
Tiada hiba untuk dirasa
Tiada takhta untuk kita

Tiada daya untuk diseru
Tiada janji untuk ditepati
Tiada tiang untuk disandang
Tiada tongkat sakti untuk kita

Tiada kata untuk bicara
Tiada lagu untuk dinyanyi
Tiada puisi untuk memuji
Tiada apa-apa lagi untuk kita

Sudah merempat tak bertempat
Sudah sempit dan terkepit
Sudah penat berlumba dan berlari
Sudahlah, kita berhenti saja disini.

Tamat.

Si Pengemis Muda

Si Pengemis Muda,
Merayau ke sana-sini. Berkaki ayam melangkah lemah. Pada terang siang dia terus menggeledah. Mencari barang tinggal oleh orang-orang cuai.

Dia mencari hati-hati yang tercicir.

Yang dah retak, terhantuk.
Yang dah berserpih, terkikis.
Yang dah kaku, keras.
Yang dah tak berdegup, tak berlagu.

Si Pengemis Muda,
Seperti malam-malam biasa. Menghibur mimpi, menabur hasrat “Mana lah tahu…dalam banyak hati yang terkutip, mungkin terjumpa semula” dia berhajat.

Dia mencari hati yang pernah dia buang.

Yang ada terpahat nama seorang
Yang mungkin boleh menyala terang
Yang dulunya ada bahang membara
Yang mungkin ada lagi sedikit haba

Si Pengemis Muda,
Seperti semalam, seperti kelmarin, dan seperti hari-hari kusam sebelum ini, dia masih mencari tanpa henti. Walau sudah lelah, dia tak boleh mengalah.

Untuk mencari ganti hatinya sendiri yang sudah mati.


*a tribute to Sheila Majid’s “Pengemis Muda”

Corak II

Aku sedang cuba mencorak lagu
Menyusun gembira, mengait memori
Tentang senyum, gelak dan ketawa
Tapi yang terhasil cuma irama duka

Aku sedang cuba menempa ritma
membentuk detik, memahat rasa
Tentang dakapan, sentuhan dan emosi
Tapi yang berdegup cuma hati yang luka

Si Dara semalam berlalu lagi
Masih berlegar mencari ruang dihati
"Merdu. Lagu apa dan untuk siapa?”
”Boleh saya petik dan simpan di hati?”

”Pergi lah, jangan kau cemar diri”
“Ini lagu duka, untuk hati yang dah mati”