Me and my GPS we got issues

Today I got the opportunity to make full use of my GPS system. Need to go to Kelana Business Centre. I’ve only been there once and that was quite a long time ago so I’m kinda fuzzy on how to get there.

‘Drive 100 meter and turn left’
Nifty tool for a road-blind fool. That’s me.

Everything seem fine until there was a smaller, confusing split-roads.
‘Turn left. Turn left …… Turn left’

‘Recalculating…’

After a few of these ‘Recalculating…’ episodes, I swear I can hear a bit of accusation in the GPS’s voice! Like I’ve put it into extra work with my incompetency. And when the next alternative road was calculated ‘Drive 1 kilometer and stay left’ I swear I heard the word ‘kilometer’ as ‘oh come on!’.

Oh I’ve tried to please her then. So when the next accusing ‘Recalculating…’ got issued I was halfway through saying ‘Ohh sorry Luna!’.

BTW I called her Luna.

Luna eventually got me to the destination and back safely. I’m just not sure whether she’d consider uninstalling herself off my phone o_O

Top 5 reasons to watch Avatar, again.

Just came back from watching Avatar. I don’t have high expectation from it. But man I was blown away by it. Here’s my Top 5 reasons to watch Avatar, again:

- It’s a James Cameron movie. A big big budget one. The biggest to date I think.

- Big bipedal mecha. With a jagged bayonet on a big canon gun. Warhammer 40K-esque. Versus blue-skinned tribal alien which is bigger than the human but primitive.

- Fantastic world of glowing forests, floating mountains, and symbiotic lifeforms. A place I wouldn’t mind living in or dying for.

- The women in this movie: Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, and most importantly Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) which almost single-handedly would pull you into Pandora and it’s people the Na’vi.

- And finally, seeing boobs & cute butts on the big screen without feeling perverse or in any way shameful. Definitely not a cheap flesh trick. It was elegantly sexy,natural, and honest in many ways. The Na’vi women I mean.

PS: I’m booking for a second viewing this weekend. I don’t usually watch the same movie twice in the same week. This is one very GOOD movie though. Avatar made it up for atleast 5 years of dull sci-fi/fantasy movie from Hollywood. I’m satisfied *bliss*.

10 Minutes

An “Excuse me”.
A slight shoulder bump.
A “Sorry”.
Two faces turning, eyes meet eyes.

A smiling “It’s ok”.
An awkward passing by.
A wanting of proximity.
Stealing glances, the blurring of other faces.

Just under 10 minutes. That’s all it takes.

For two people to connect.
For the sweet smile to stay in memory.
For one of them to start a mission.
To continue that brief connection.

Just under that memorable 10 minutes.

 

:: GSC Pavilion. 10pm, Nov 28, 2009 ::

Sepucuk Surat

Hari ini aku terima sepucuk surat
Merah jambu disemburi harum wangi
Tertera tulisan lembut bersimpul seri
Tersulam kata-kata mimpi, janji, dan isi hati.

Ia berakhir dengan tanda lipstick merah menyala
Di kucup penuh makna. Tanpa nama.

Dan aku cuma berkata "Ia mungkin tersalah alamat"
Kerana tiada mimpi, janji, atau hati di rumah ini.

From This Memory

Too many noises in this place
Of broken songs and haunting desire
Of seductive voices and meaningless chatter

Too many phantasm in this place
Of torn pictures and lucid scene
Of alluring thoughts and deceitful dreams

I’m getting cluttered
I’m getting scattered
I’m getting divided

I need to get away from this place
Far far away, if I may
From this memory

Beauty Charm

Last few weekends I went to Lotus Ampang for a meet-up about work. As usual the place’s full of kodok-watching potentials. Then came striding in an actor and his friend/GF/fellow female artist. I don’t know their names but I know they’re quite popular in TV drama. Even my japanese friend Shinobu knows about this actor. She’s a bit weird though for liking Malay drama so much. Anyways…

What strike me most is that this two celebrities are way better looking in real-life than on TV. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? As usually the case with Hollywood stars that look really awesome on screen, but fugly in real-life? This is not a one-off observation. Most ‘celebrity’ that I’ve met outside the tube are wayyy better-looking/prettier. It puzzled me, really.

I came to a conclusion that either our TV production are generally bad, bad make-up artist, or perhaps both. Or maybe, just MAYBE they all wears susuk. And maybe the *susuk’s charm got nullified going through the tube…?

Talking about susuk, now that is one powerful thing. Imagine if one of the make-up company made it commercial: Summer Susuk Foundation by M.A.C. Disclaimer: Side effects of spiritual disturbance or hauntings are known to affects the user. M.A.C hold no accountability if such things occurred. Please consult a *Bomoh or equivalent witch-doctor.

Let’s not limit our imagination to just make-ups. Imagine Triumph, Audrey, and other in-supermarket under-garment brand could do with. Say, Wonder-Bra or Wonder-Panties - Susuk Enhanced. Instant Scarlett Johansson or Beyonce (respectively). Or even Jessica Biel (overall yummilious 4 thumbs up). That is, if you buy a complete set of Susuk Enhanced products. Discounted ofcourse. It’s women’s stuff after all. 5% OFF. Serious bargain, right girls?

What do you think? Is it a good idea or is it a GOOD idea??

* susuk is a magical charm, usually gold needle or diamond being magically embedded in the face to give the wearer beauty, glamour, and charm.

* bomoh is a Malay traditionall witch-doctor. Scary bunch most of the time. Smelly too. But don’t mess with them.

A New Hope

A new hope. A cure. It could be anything. A new job. New circle of friends. A replacement of your wrecked car. Quitting smoking. Newfound passion or hobby. Meeting someone special or falling in love again. It could be anything really.

It is a chance. A vaccine. A new lease of life that brings us out of our mired situations. Into something more meaningful to look forward to every day we wakes up. It doesn’t have to be for the better, just for something different. To get out of current stagnation that slowly kills us inside.

New hope can be big or small but nonetheless important. Getting a new hobby could be life-saving to some but a laughable pastime to others. It also involves risks too. Risk of expectation. Of things new and shiny. Risk of wasting time with. But all those risks are better than stagnation isn’t it?

A new hope. For a start, let’s just hope for a new hope. If you can find it, grab it. Things like these only come once in a while. Try not to let go. But ofcourse, we can only hope it came by and wanted to stay. When it doesn’t, when it slipped away from our hands, we’ll feel much worst than before. Feeling jaded. Rejected. Forlorn. Scattered and divided.

Let’s just hope we have energy left for another try. Or you’re really in a deeper shit than before. HA HA.

Innocence & Purity

I found Innocence & Purity
Wrapped in her soft frail body
I found Passion & Empathy
Embodied in her tender soul

I found Wit & Insight
Embedded in her lucent mind
I found Faithfulness & Truth
Shining in the wake of her light

I found Dreams & Desire
Radiated from her sweetly scented skin
I found Laughter & Joy
Without pretense, without feign

But she said no to me

For my feet are mired
My hands are grimed
Wandering and wounded
Severed and divided

Hope I’ll cross her path again
When I’m free of my sins

Of Hindi movies & Food

Recently I’ve been exposed with too many Hindi movies and TV series. It’s my mom’s doing – I gotta explain the story to her :|

Anyways, I’ve learn a few things while in that tortured position:
1. Malay & Hindi language share similar words like almari (Closet. yup it’s their word), mungkin (maybe), musibah (catastrophe), to name a few beside the well-known syabas (congrats), maut (death) …and hospital (err…).

2. To signify sunrise, they use loud sound fx of morning birds. Many many birds. Very very loud. Wondered if they woke up and yell “Yeaaayy happyyy” (sic: about firecrackers and Deepavali)

3. In Hindustani drama Food is a very important aspect to in-laws (whole bunch of them). Preparation, cooking, serving, how it taste like, etc took 3 episodes in which the new daughter-in-law showed blissful happiness when everything went well. Almost orgasmic. Really.

Talk about food, recently I had a conversation using food as analogy to relationship. About either you’re the type of person who likes drive-through or a complete meal from appetizer to dessert. I believed in the latter but what’s more important to me is not how you do it, but who you do it with and the occasion, small or big. You could still feel lonely having 12-course ballroom dinner surrounded by hundreds of people. In the other hand, a drive-through could be a great experience if you’re with somebody special.

Atleast IMO, that is better than to eat alone isn’t it?

Hujan

Hujan dah mula turun sekarang. Bagus lah.
Boleh tenggelam bising kehidupan luar sana.

Hujan tengah turun lebat sekarang. Bagus lah.
Boleh aku lemaskan diri dalam kekelabuan.

Hujan dah nak berhenti sekarang. Ahh tak bagus.
Tak cukup tebal untuk menyepi diri

Hujan dah merintik perlahan. Sangat tak bagus.
Tak cukup reda emosi kelam ini

Hujan dah berhenti. Tsk kenapa berhenti?
Terpaksa aku kembali pada bising dan bahang luar sana.

Dan guruh selepas tamat hujan seperti mengejek.
"HAHA nak singkir diri pun kau tak terdaya”

Nak…

Nak duduk melunjur tak ada kerusi
Nak sandang kepala tak ada bantal
Nak melabuh badan tak ada tilam

Nak melangkah tak ada tenaga
Nak bertutur kata tak ada suara
Nak kongsi rasa tak ada teman

Nak jenguk bintang malam masih kelam
Nak susun fantasi disergah realiti
Nak janji gembira diri sendiri pun tak percaya

Cuma ada lantai keras untuk menghempas diri.

Happy Hour

“Last call at the bar!”

Happy Hour is nearing it’s end. Just enough for one last round of merriment to drown the languor away. Any more round called-for before the return of listlessness that stifle dreams. Before reality came crushing back intruding it’s ugly head into fluffy placid fantasies.

The hours ahead seem to be quite bleak. Indifference. Solitary.

“Last call at the bar?”

Things I learned this week

• don’t go to shopping mall on 2nd day Raya and expect like it’s like normal day.

• fantasy & dreams are just that: fantasy & dreams – can go ‘poof’ any moment.

• some things are best kept to oneself. Even to the closest person.

• honest expressive opinion are sometimes misinterpreted. Badly.

• no matter how extraordinary some people may be, they are still ordinary, somehow.

• pessimism is a useful, powerful tool that I’ve forgotten to ‘misuse’.

• ghosts of past lives die hard. it can still haunts us even if we think it was buried deep.

• in three years time (two plus to be exact) the number 40 is going to be a very scary number.


So, in a nutshell I learned this: don’t expect too much of anything in life.

Tamat

Tiada masa untuk ditunggu
Tiada hala untuk dituju
Tiada hiba untuk dirasa
Tiada takhta untuk kita

Tiada daya untuk diseru
Tiada janji untuk ditepati
Tiada tiang untuk disandang
Tiada tongkat sakti untuk kita

Tiada kata untuk bicara
Tiada lagu untuk dinyanyi
Tiada puisi untuk memuji
Tiada apa-apa lagi untuk kita

Sudah merempat tak bertempat
Sudah sempit dan terkepit
Sudah penat berlumba dan berlari
Sudahlah, kita berhenti saja disini.

Tamat.

Si Pengemis Muda

Si Pengemis Muda,
Merayau ke sana-sini. Berkaki ayam melangkah lemah. Pada terang siang dia terus menggeledah. Mencari barang tinggal oleh orang-orang cuai.

Dia mencari hati-hati yang tercicir.

Yang dah retak, terhantuk.
Yang dah berserpih, terkikis.
Yang dah kaku, keras.
Yang dah tak berdegup, tak berlagu.

Si Pengemis Muda,
Seperti malam-malam biasa. Menghibur mimpi, menabur hasrat “Mana lah tahu…dalam banyak hati yang terkutip, mungkin terjumpa semula” dia berhajat.

Dia mencari hati yang pernah dia buang.

Yang ada terpahat nama seorang
Yang mungkin boleh menyala terang
Yang dulunya ada bahang membara
Yang mungkin ada lagi sedikit haba

Si Pengemis Muda,
Seperti semalam, seperti kelmarin, dan seperti hari-hari kusam sebelum ini, dia masih mencari tanpa henti. Walau sudah lelah, dia tak boleh mengalah.

Untuk mencari ganti hatinya sendiri yang sudah mati.


*a tribute to Sheila Majid’s “Pengemis Muda”

Be a Man!

9.00 pm, middle of Ramadhan, somewhere in Kuala Lumpur city centre.

A malay guy with a bottle of beer came wandering around with a bit of a drunkard gait. He has this smug, who-dares-me look on his mixed parental face - a typical KL city boy, well-built with attitude thinking his liberal philosophies are well above the average Joe on the street of Kuala Lumpur.

Smug and challenging. Outspoken and modern. Liberal.

On recognizing a familiar face, he came near my table, resting his hand on the back of the chair opposite me. Languidly he spoken “Hey man, been a long time. Can I share your table mate?” And that smug smile still on his face.

“Sorry, nope.” A bit miffed, I continue reading my book.

“Oh come on! Wait, you don’t want to be associated with a beer-drinking guy in Ramadhan eh?” A bit more of that smugness with a laugh.

Looking up from my book, “Not really, I just don’t like potential drunkards. And please respect others.” looking at the beer bottle and a forced smile to hide my annoyance.

“Oh you’re so righteous aren’t you?” now leaning closer to me, expelling beer-breath onto my face. 

He continued “Look, I’m a man that stand for my rights and only answers to myself because I’m a Free, Liberal man. I don’t restrain myself because some hardcore fundamentalist put down laws. Also I’m not going to let myself be like one of the cows tucked at the nose to follow without questioning, without thinking.” 

A bit more excited on having a chance to deliver his thoughts he continued “Stand for your rights! Be a MAN! Are you content being just a cow?”

I put down the book and look up his stinky face “First of all, I’m not your friend. Secondly, I don’t give a fuck about your liberal P.O.V. And third, I’m capable of standing for my rights, or the rights of people close to me.”

More than a little pissed I continued “Right now I’m defending my rights to be alone and usually I don’t just stand and babble out bad breath. I usually use my fists for defending my rights. Are you up to that?”

The potential punching bag started to open his mouth in retaliation but I don’t give him a chance “You talk big about being liberal and standing for your rights. Can you even defend it if I were to test you with a few punches and kicks?” and pushed my chair a bit out of the table as if ready to get up and prove to him there and then. “It has been a while since I last bash people up” flexing my fists and neck.

Backing a step away, as if being slapped, he was very alert now with a little trembling.

“Yeah, I guess not. Shoo boy, and learn some self-defence first before you go out strutting your Liberal Man attitude and REALLY stand for your rights. You just proved you’re not THAT free.” And I further aggravated him with a mimic of his own words “Be a MAN!! Poser” and laugh it off.

Visibly reddened from my challenge and taunt he stormed off while uttering a loud “Fuck you!”

Yeah sure, go home and cry liberal boy. I had a good laugh by the way.

What’s the difference between… (Malaysian & Indonesian movie)

What’s the differences between Malaysian and Indonesian movie?
1) In Malaysian movie, emotion portrayal are definitely acted on.

2) Malaysian comedy movie requires the actor/actresses to laugh out loud so that viewers know there are jokes involved.

3) In Malaysian movie, “Movie of the year” means it was made this year. That’s it.

4) Indonesian movie have funny names for their characters but quite serious about it. Malaysian movie just have ‘funny’ characters. In a serious movie.

5) Indonesian Romance movie means all the finer points about Love. In Malaysian movie it means Yusof Haslam.


Disclaimer: yet again, loosen up will ya!

What’s the difference between… (Hindi & Tamil movie)

Another 5 points of my views on: Hindi & Tamil movie this time.

What’s the differences between Hindi and Tamil movie?
1) Hindi movie comes with pretty hero & heroine. Tamil movie only delivers pretty heroine. Sometime. Ok ok, once a decade apart.

2) In Hindi movie, LOVE conquers all. In Tamil, BLOODSHED is.

3) The blood is redder in Tamil movie. Yes, serious. And a lot more copious too.

4) In Hindi movie, Michelin Man means a Michelin Man. In Tamil movie, Michelin Man means the hero. Or the heroine too.

5) In Tamil movie, hero expresses anger with a powerful fist. Same with Hindi movie, but prefaced with flowery words or idioms. Eg: “The tears of your mother will stop flowing for I’m here to end your miserable, sinful life, thus relieving your mother of the knowledge of giving birth to such a monster!!” *dushhhhhhhemm*


Disclaimer: Again, this is just satirical, stereotypical P.O.V. If you wanna bash me, write some preface first ok.

What’s the difference between… (Hollywood & Independent movie)

My five points stereotypical take on differences between movie industry.

What’s the differences between Hollywood and Independent movie?
1) In Hollywood movie, the actors/actresses still look good even though they’re about to be devoured by fugly monster.

2) In Hollywood movie, sci-fi, fantasy, thriller, etc can be under one category – Action.

3) Hollywood movie could cost a space-shuttle and still couldn’t flex the brain muscle.

4) Hollywood movie’s ‘based on true event’ are as truthful as my neighbour’s fart – heard it, but no smell involved.

5) Inde movie can be overbearing on showing gratuitous tits (which is fine) BUT general nekidness!? just so to show it’s an Indie movie. WE GET IT! You’re independent, rebellious. OK. We don’t wanna see an old man’s hairy balls. THANK YOU.

*Nekidness = Wicked Nakedness


Well, that was my 5 points about movies. Disclaimer: this is just satirical, stereotypical P.O.V. You can stop your mouth-clinching, stare of death act now.

Gloomy Sunday

Note: This a depressive and mysterious song by Reszo Seress, that caused many deaths and suicides in the early 20th century. Some said it is a cursed song. Know more about it here and more detail here.

My fav retake of the song is by Sinead O’Connor which uses the revised ‘radio-friendly’ lyrics and orchestral composition. The original was VERY haunting and doomy. Here is the original lyric plus a few other translation.

You can listen to the song at Imeem free MP3 preview. Recommended remake by: Elvis Costello, Sinead O’Connor (orchestral) and Sarah McLachlan. One artist did record the original composition & lyrics in english – look for Diamanda Gallas @ Imeem. Be warned, this version is true to the original cursed composition…

Rezső Seress, the composer, jumped to his death from his flat in 1968.

Gloomy Sunday (revised)

Sunday is gloomy,
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coaches
Sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thoughts
Of ever returning you
Wouldn’t they be angry
If I thought of joining you?

Gloomy sunday

Gloomy is sunday,
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and i
Have decided to end it all
Soon there’ll be candles
And prayers that are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know that I’m glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I’m caressing you
With the last breath of my soul
I’ll be blessing you

Gloomy sunday

Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart here
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you

Gloomy sunday

Corak II

Aku sedang cuba mencorak lagu
Menyusun gembira, mengait memori
Tentang senyum, gelak dan ketawa
Tapi yang terhasil cuma irama duka

Aku sedang cuba menempa ritma
membentuk detik, memahat rasa
Tentang dakapan, sentuhan dan emosi
Tapi yang berdegup cuma hati yang luka

Si Dara semalam berlalu lagi
Masih berlegar mencari ruang dihati
"Merdu. Lagu apa dan untuk siapa?”
”Boleh saya petik dan simpan di hati?”

”Pergi lah, jangan kau cemar diri”
“Ini lagu duka, untuk hati yang dah mati”

Si Buta Jalan

Aku mencari jalan, meraba lurus bengkok haluan
Untuk menyinggah ke titik permulaan
Si buta jalan, berpanjat berguling, mendaki dan meronda
Untuk menari, menyanyi dan bermimpi dengan dia

Akan sampai satu masa, entah berapa detik, entah bila
Aku tak pasti masa, tapi sampai kan aku
Pada titik permulaan satu yang indah
Yang diharap tidak bernoktah, tidak berpadah, tiada gundah

Hanya masa.
Tunggu aku disana ya!

Cuba Lagi Lain Hari?

Maaf, tak berniat untuk berperasaan
Bukan mencuba, bukan mencorak pun
Cuma nak mengopek hati, mencuit rasa
Cuba menyelam naluri, sambil berteduh luka

Maaf ya, tapi aku ada pendinding
Terbina dengan keping-keping janji yang mati
Hasil helah tak berhati, rekah sana-sini
Maaf ya, aku selamat, mungkin kau cuba lagi lain hari?

Kau serupa pahlawan bertahan, terpacak tapak 
Kau macam haiwan ditawan, dibalut resah
Kau juga seperti pencinta tak bertuan
Membangkang diri, mengikat rasa

Aku tak tersepit atau sawan lah, aku cuma parah terluka 
Dinding penyelamat ini dipahat rapat, membendung perit
Aku juga dah gelap hati dan mata, lagipun kau siapa ya?
Maaf ya, aku dah tak berhati, sila cuba lagi lain hari?

Aku cuma hinggap berkongsi rasa
Berehat sayap, sambil berteduh luka
Kalau macam itu, takpa lah, aku berlalu dulu
Harap dinding tebal kau itu ada lampu dan pintu

Untuk masa-masa kau sedar dari mimpi ngeri
Untuk kau atau aku cuba lagi lain hari

Hey & Goodbye

’Hey’
Always your way of opening the night
Though nonchalant, it’s always a delight, you know right?
To be connected, to be taunted, to get painted
With a picture of your lucent mind and lily-white heart

’Hey Hey’
Always your bridled excitement
Guarded and reserved, mostly without sway
Never really coaxed out of your confinement
Within all the guile and play, they lost their ways

‘Got to go, talk to you later’
But can’t you stay a bit longer?
’Take care and goodbye’
Hmm… minutes went by

Wordless again, but there should be more
Like an ending with a bit more essence
Or some sweetness laced with emotion
Like a returned kiss, with a touch of bliss

Hmm. Goodbye.

Bintang Permintaan

Dia menuding gembira ke langit utara
“Ada bintang gugur untuk permintaan malam ini!”
“Aku nak minta Senyum, Tawa, dan Kasih kala ini”
Tanpa kata, memejam mata, dia menongkat hajat ,menghembus mimpi

Dia melonjak bersorak gembira ke langit utara
“Kau pula untuk bertitah niat wahai Sang Kera hehe”
Aku yang tersenyum kaku dilempar tanya hairan
“Ada bintang impian, kau sia-sia kan?”

Aku tak perlu menggapai tinggi untuk harapan
Aku tak perlu menjala bintang untuk impian
Kerana kau hanya sejarak sekelip di hadapan
Jika kau jauh pun, cuma tinggal 10 digit untuk dipicit dan dicuit

Tapi sesaat itu juga aku lemas hati
Sesaat aku terbelah pendapat, terbahagi semangat
Kesal pada bintang permintaan yang dah jauh gugur
Resah jika bukan aku yang dia idam…

Pada si bintang permintaan malam ini.

Oji | 21 August 2009

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

Sweetdreams

Di sini aku cuba menulis
Dengan kata-kata manis puitis
Tapi tak satu pun terbaris
Tentang syukur aku ada kamu

Di sini aku cuba melukis
Dengan warna-warna pastel pelangi
Tapi tak satu pun corak terguris
Tentang manis kamu yang bermadu

Perpuluh kata dah aku petik
Bertompok warna dah aku jentik
Idea tak menerpa, tak satu pun mengena
Ahh, biarkan lah. Aku dah cuba.

Biar mimpi saja sampaikan rasa.
Cuma mimpi saja setanding dia.

Sweetdreams.


Oji | 20 August 2009

Sudah Penat

Sudah penat aku berkata, berpuisi
Mengipas bara seni untuk bermimpi
Sudah penat bersengkang dada
Berkongsi takut, nafsu, dan rahsia

Tapi kau macam dah mati, sejuk kaku
Sekilas rasa, setitik nafsu pun tak berlalu
Hati dah gelap, legam dan lebam
Macam pelita padam, habis sumbu

Sudah penat aku mendongak bintang, memahat hajat
Sudah penat aku menyujud tanah, menyembah niat
Semoga berdegub semula jantung yang tersejat
Semoga bersambung emosi yang mengikat

Aku dah penat
Dah penat dengan niat
Aku nak tidur dan cuma bermimpi
Harap jumpa kau disitu lagi.


Oji | 20 August 2009

Dead of the Night

I'm back.
Back to the dead of the night
I’ve lived.
In the world of the living daylight

It was not as promised
Not even as advertised
Questing to find Life
There’s only the living dead, zombie

Only splinters of humanity
Slaving at so-called Life
Racing time, crossing space
Nodding disagreement, and pretense

So I’m back.
To the dead and mute night
Where I can hear myself breathing
When the seconds flowed with meaning.


Oji | 20 August 2009

Malam Buta yang Mati

Aku balik.
Pada malam buta yang mati
Aku dah pergi
Pada dunia yang hidup disiang hari

Tak seperti dijanji
Langsung tak macam di iklan
Aku cari mereka-mereka yang hidup
Cuma jumpa yang separa mati, zombie.

Cuma cebisan kemanusiaan
Menghamba diri pada kononnya Kehidupan
Berlumba masa, menjangkau jarak
Mengangguk pada yang tidak, pada yang berpura

Jadi aku balik.
Pada malam yang buta dan pekak
Dimana jelas dengar nafas ini
Bila saat berdetik lancar dengan makna


Oji | 20 August 2009

Sisa

Kalau boleh aku jaja kemahuan,
Dah lama aku berminggu di kaki lima.
Kalau boleh aku sita kepercayaan,
Dah lama aku sentap ke dada.

Kalau boleh aku ugut hati itu,
Dah lama aku lumur racun arsenik.
Kalau tidak pun aku ragut saja,
Biar terdampar tak berdegup.

Sebab semua ini,
Kemahuan dan kepercayaan,
Hati dan nyawa,
Hanya sisa-sisa luka semalam.

Oji | 19, August 2009

Corak

Aku buat corak dengan langkah
Bertimbun garisan dan bulatan
Membentuk cerita, membentuk lagu
Atas pasir dari hujan semalam

Ada nama dia dan aku
Ada harapan sinis yang manis
Ada juga hati yang dah mati
Aku terjah atas pasir dari hujan semalam

Ada dara lalu dan sapa “cantik, bermaksud”
Dia tertarik “Abang ni pelukis? Pujangga cinta?”
“Tak…” aku tersentak, “Aku pessimist. Pengemis”
Dan aku padam corak itu dengan langkah keras.


Oji | 19 August 2009

Undying

I’d use you, I’ll abuse you
I’d shake you, I’ll break you
To make you go away
You only want to stay

I’ve shoved sorrow your way
Broken your body & soul
You took it all in
Embracing bitterness whole

Your undying lust & affection
Stirs forgotten reaction
This husk of a soul
You swallow me whole

I bathed you with fire
I drowned you in tears
With eyes filled with desire
A look that break me asunder

This mighty shell shattered
This once proud self surrendered
With searing lust & desire
I’m sealed in you forever.

Forever. Undying.

Pointless things

What is wrong with me?!?! Damn I can’t sleep. I sms’ed a friend asking is she asleep. Yeah stupid thing to ask when you know that person might be pissed getting early morning, unimportant, pointless, sms.

Well, i am sleep-deprived. So pardon my stupidity. On the other hand, it might be fun if I can witness the whole pissy scene. Hehe ok now I feel better.

It’s not pointless after all :D

English or BM

Why do I write in English instead of my native Bahasa Malaysia?

Recently I read a few blogs in BM. Some are really good. Expressive, cool and not sounding ‘weird’. Since BM is my native language which I use everyday, so why don’t I write in BM?

Simple answer: My BM is really bad.
A slightly better answer is that I’m not very good at expressing myself in BM. It felt awkward. Cluttered with borrowed words – an inadequacy of my own knowledge instead of the language itself.

So I write in English. Not to say I write good English. Hell NO! I don’t even speak good English. But my thoughts flows easier in English. Like when in the middle of a fight with my companion, it’s always in English. Haha.

But I want to try, hopefully without sounding too funny, to write in BM. Well, anytime is a good time to start:

Aku akan cuba menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia mulai sekarang.

ps: Mungkin tidak sepenuhnya kerana aku sudah mula merasa janggal dengan tulisan kecil aku ini.

Half-Gifts

Past few nights I heard a wailing ambulance pass-by. Unexpectedly I felt a twinge of emotion somewhere in my chest. No its not a twinge for myself.

This morning, an old lady in wheelchair was ushered through my gate. An old friend of Mak. She’s so old and frail…obsolete. I felt that twinge again. And pity too. But Mak’s friend mustered little frail energy she has to visit her friend. Probably something worthwhile to do while they’re alive.

Something I’ve taken for granted.

Then came realization of Time. Something that I might lose. No, I WILL lose, someday. This mood suits the song playing right now.

I’m sorry, for all the ignorance this selfish ass caused you.

Song: Half-Gifts – Cocteau Twins

Etoile

So many guiding stars. So many misleading stars.
Some are bright. Some are dim.
Some don’t even know they’re dead yet.
For the light are still on the way to tell the news.

There are lucky stars.There are bad ones too.
Some are named. Some are strangers.
Some are begging to be known and loved.
And some are just plain prick in the night sky.

Once in a while there are wandering stars.
And tonight I grabbed a fallen star.
With bright promises and blazing tail.
And coax it to fly away, a way out of this system.

And named her Etoile.

Goodbye Horses – Q Lazarus

a beautiful symmetry.
a grotesque scenery.
a haunting song.

-------- Q Lazarus --------
a very unknown band.
a very low-key female vocalist.
always misunderstood as a male singer.

-------- Silence of the Lambs scene ---------
underground cellar.
Goodbye Horses playing in background.
a naked man, a serial killer.
dancing, imitating his female self.
put on lipstick and admire self.
"Do you wanna fuck me?"
"I want to fuck me"

Goodbye Horses - Q Lazarus
You told me, I see the rise
But, it always falls
I see them come, I see them go
You say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

You told me, I've seen it all before
I been there, I've seen my hopes and dreams
Lying on the ground

I've seen the sky just begin to fall
And you say, "All things pass into the night"
And I say, "Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong"
Won't you listen to me

Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying over you
Good-bye horses, I'm flying, flying, flying over you

Being a nocturnal creature

As a hardcore Nocturnalist I usually stay awake until what most people consider “start of the day”. Here’s a look into what a nocturnal creature’s ‘day’ is like. The Love & Hate.

The LOVE

• 12am-1am – perfection of balance between the waking & sleeping world
• 2am-3am – the cooling of the Earth.
• 4am – A very Silent, Cool, Peaceful, Blissful time

and then the HATE

• 5am – mosquitos, mostly aedes start to hunt for food and my blood is mosquito-friendly.
• 6am – The sky start to bleed some blue and signalling a rise in activity like…
• 7am – busses, cars, motorbike starts rushing by my house. And I mean RUSHING. Dude, no matter how fast you rush, you’d still be in the jam. Chill please!
• 8am – I know i’m really fucked up if i don’t sleep now.

Temporary Happiness

Ignorant is bliss isn’t it?
Like smoking my fav Red with gory images on it.
Like listening to H.I.M ‘gedik’ness.
Like McDonald’s crappy fastfood.
Like flirting madly with a stranger.

And just like a few minute ago…
Logging in to Maybank2u to pay the 2 months old bills.
Reluctant but slaving myself to the grind of life *sighs*.
Username: taptaptap
Password: taptaptap

………loading………

System Refresh
Our system is being refreshed.
During this time you will not be able to login to do your banking.
Please come back again later.

YEAY!!
Temporary Happiness

Unconditional Acceptance

Acceptance. True love. Unconditional friendships.

Do you believe in it?
I, for reason of naivety or otherwise, believe in it’s existence.
I just don’t believe the society we live in today can achieve it easily.

Or geared towards it.

Because the world & society today is full of bullshits and without which they can’t survive. Yes, on BULLSHITS. Just stop for a while and look around in the general social direction:
• Expectation.
• Credibility.
• Popularity.
• Vanity (yes male too!)
• Economics
and the list grows more and more over the time.
Oh I forgot to attach prefix 'HIGH' to each list - HIGH Expectation, etc.

Come on. Think about it. You were born RAW. All of the above are just built-upon layers. Enforced by the society you lived in. By your peers based on perceived ideals and ultimately by the old devil himself: Mr.Capitalism.

Not by your conscious decision ultimately.

So, going back to this blog’s topic - Unconditional  Acceptance - which really means ‘none of above layers required’. Can you accept or like or love someone with just their RAW self? And please try not to kid yourself by answering an optimistic YES before really re-thinking your brain out.

Comforming to Normality

Most people try hard to have that. To feel secured with regular motion of life. To stabilize according to perceived world. I don't blame them but sorry dudes, that is just lame to me. i would rot if I stagnate. And I'm pretty sure thats how they felt once they realise their potbelly became the main sexual jokes among their peers (...or wife).

Sales promoter you’d want to see

In general, you see jeans/shirts/fashion shop hosting salesperson wearing their brand of fashion. A Levi’s salesperson almost ALWAYS wears Levi’s. I wonder, why lingerie or undergarment shop doesn't hosts salesgirls that promote their wares? It is essential marketing is it not? :D

Stupid Cat

Yesterday while readying to go out I heard a mewing kitten non-stop in front of my house. It sounded hungry, lost, and afraid. So I began to search for the location of the poor thing. Nearing it, I saw a small grey kitten bolted out of it’s hiding place. It ran blindly across the road while cars passing by nearly hits it. Without stopping, it then made a u-turn and crossed back to it’s hiding place, missing another car hit. My blood froze! What a stupid, stupid cat! phewww LUCKY cat!

OK this episode made me feel bad of wanting to help the stupid cat. My action could get the cute thing flattened or splattered on the road. Feel like wringing the blasted thing’s neck! OK that won’t help a bit.

Anyway it’s just primal instinct. Can’t blame them little things. In fear or entrapment, the kitten tried it’s best to survive. Which made me realize that human do these things too. Especially those in a misconception of a relationship lol. They lie, cover tracks, made up excuses (some are really stupid excuses). By doing so, they basically betray the relationship without really understanding the outcome of their misguided deeds.

You see, relationship is about RELATING to each other. No big secrets  (little secrets are fine though), no holding back, no lies. And its about SHARING – of your thoughts, fear, hope & dreams, wonders, problems, etc. If you can’t even do that, its high time to take a step back and evaluate where are you standing in the ‘relationship’ picture.

As with the stupid cat, it should trust me better since it was MEWING non-stop, giving out ‘help me’ signals all night long. So please, trust your ‘helper’ better and free yourself. And not be like the cat in the pic lol.

Windows Live Writer!

COOL!
That’s all i can say about this nifty tool for blogger. I just discovered it while poking around Windows Live page. Well, its a MS Windows offline blogging software. I don’t give much thought on MS free apps, but Windows Live Writer is an exception. It is SIMPLE and its WORKING beautifully!

You can do nifty stuff like resize images, rotate, edit, put special fx, etc. as you would a word processor like MS Word. You can put table and do text formatting, and many more that would usually need extra IT savviness while using the online blog interface. It also have plugins or extension to expand on the functionality! (like Firefox’s Extensions). It also support quite a number of blog provider (like Blogger, Wordpress, etc)

I urge you bloggers give this cool apps a go. It made me wanna blog a lot more!  Here’s some preview of what it can do:

EDIT: oh did I mention that you can even edit your post right inside WLW? Well, I just did, without opening Blogspot web!

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Image resize & FX
 

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Photo Album (from local or web album!)

View Full Album

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 Table

Column 1	Column 2	Column 3
table	table	table
table	table	table

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Easy video embedding & resizing from YouTube

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and some more little things that work great for me…

IMDB database insert!

Released: 1997


Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Contact

Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, William Fichtner, Timothy McNeil, Matthew McConaughey, Henry Strozier,

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 MAP for the road-blind!

mapssss!

Fragile new songs

I've decided to release my new songs to the public for the first time.
These 3 songs are what I call perpetual beta. I'll never satisfy to finally called it FINAL.
Well, have a listen and comments & critics are welcome.

FRAGILE NEW SONGS

Movies that I'm not going to miss!

For some reason I feel movie-makers are hearing my shout of anguish of ever diminishing good sci-fi & other cool movies. So this year, I'm going to have a blast at movie marathon!

Here is my list of MUST-WATCH (in order of interest)

Terminator Salvation
28 May 2009
YEAH! this is going to make my day, no...make my year!
Reason being:
1) a lot of termies inside
2) Termies on bike (Mospeada anyone?)
3) Giant Termies (ohh I'm almost wetting my pants now...)
4) Dystopian future
5) Christian Bale

Angels & Demons
14 May 2009
The book was absorbing and revealing. Also, Da Vincci Code was not disappointing as well.
It's Dan Brown's. And its on Illuminati. I'm going come rain or shine.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
26 June 2009
Beside Megan Fox's hotness, I say I should watch this cult story that I grew up with.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
30 April 2009
Last X-Men movie gave some hope of becoming a cult (instead of another superhero movie have-beens). So yeah I'm going to leisurely watch this one.

2012
9 July 2009
I feel like this movie won't have much substance in it. Prolly it's just a jumping-the-2012-bandwagon thingy. And I'm pretty sure its just another Disaster movie. I'm going to watch this one on the premise of my interest in 2012 issue. We'll see how.

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaur
2 July 2009
Can't get enough of 3D animations. And Ice Age is sub-zero cool too :)

City of Ember
12 March 2009
Kiddy movie I'm sure. But I like kiddy movies. Hollywood lacks great kiddy movies like ET, Goonies, etc that left everlasting impressions on kids. But I don't expect much from this one too.

and last but not least, is...

Ong Bak 2
5 Feb 2009
Its Tony jaa damn it! and Muay Thai...you need more reason?!

Gombak Bangsal Nak Muay

Last sunday me and KawanBoxx crew - Musaddik and Azizan went to Melati area to check out a bangsal Tomoi place. The kru there wanted to put his fighter on the ring. So we went there to get to know them. Personally I was curious because Melati is borderline from where I live and I've never heard of them.

BTW they call themselves Fyling Cobra Tomoi Club. First of all, these guys are hardcore. I mean the equipments and training facility (if we can call that) are all self-made! Buckets filled with cements for barbell, old tyre wrapped on pole for punching target, and other weird contraptions lying around that make me feel, wow this guys must be training real hard - hard as in under-equpped. The ace fighter, Amir, is quite good. He got all the Nak Muay quality - setong (strong), goodheart (stamina), and most important HUMBLE. We were not there long enough to see his complete training regime but I must honestly say Amir would benefits better in a real gym, with real tanner (trainer).

After we went back, something occurred to me. That I have better gym acccess than this guy and I lack the motivation that this guy has. I am determined to push myself harder on my Muay Thai training. And be able to kick as powerful & as high as Amir can :)

Chokdee! Ohhweeyyy!

The World Through My Skewed Eyes

Things that caught my eyes while wandering around aimlessly

Ciggy Graveyard


Petshop Scam!
(sign says "Let Go Birds - RM3.00/bird)

Ad Space for Direct Sale

UFO in KLCC

Boxxtomoi Magazine

Coming soon!
This is exciting project for me - something like a fanzine but in full CMYK glory :)
I've done the logo but I'm still working on the mag's pre-production and layout. Articles/Photos/Contents are on its way!

Launch & distribution date: 7-8 Feb 2009 - on the KL Muay Thai Event itself.

TM-WMC KL Muay Thai Challenge!

Yep it is confirmed. KL will see great actions from these people - trust me, I've witnessed it in Kelantan. Now is a very good time to do so also since Ong Bak 2 will be on the theater on 15 Jan.

So make yourself (and your family, friends, spouse, pets) available and head to Cheras Badminton Stadium this 7th & 8th of February 2009.

For more info go HERE.

CHOKKKKKKK!